Confessions from the Fog

Here comes a rambly, jumbled rant post. A glimpse into a day in the life of a mad pregnant woman. After a long day of being on my feet, sorting out continual nausea and forgetting everything imaginable (social, phone number, address.... god I even forget what road I'm driving on- look out!) I am now putting my feet up. Well, kind of. This is me relaxing. :p As good as it's going to get for a go-go-go til it's done kinda gal. My older cat put her paw on my arm and patted it gently as if to say 'there, there'. Aren't animals great? No matter how bad you think you are, how ugly, how hormonally imbalanced- if you love them, they'll love you back 110%. My pets keep my spirits high and hopes up while humanity can be a total let-down sometimes. Their love for you is truly unconditional and incredibly refreshing. I feed them and pet them and cuddle them so, to them, I am the queen. It's quite nice. I love home. I'm a homebody at heart. Happiest with a good...

To all those who wish to start a blog but are unsure of being completely anonymous, or to others who just want to share your story but don't want to start a blog for it: I'll be happy to post for you! Taking other's stories would help me stay anonymous as well as help you to get your story out there in a way that's harder to trace back. Just an idea. :) I'm swamped with horrible morning sickness at the moment (still ugh!) and it may take me a day or two to reply but I'd be happy to share your story for you with absolutely no strings attached. Change dates, names- whatever you want. If you think your story may help others, I'd love to post it for you. spouseofanaconanon@gmail.com -Gracie

It's every parent's worst nightmare. Watching helplessly on the sidelines while your little one is killed. This happened a while back in the states and I remember reading the story and being utterly horrified.  read the story here In brief, a mother dangled her toddler over an exhibit railing. Losing her grip the child fell into an enclosure of African painted dogs and was quickly mauled to death. In a matter of minutes, this child's life was over.  I have little pity for the mother. One could argue she didn't mean to do it or any other such excuse, but for an accident like this to happen, there had to have been some fault by the mother in this situation. Putting a three year old to sit or stand on a rail feet above a safety net, over an exhibit of extremely dangerous animals is hard for me to excuse. What was this person thinking in overstepping the boundaries put there by the zoo to keep these people and dogs safe?! It angers and upsets me, but it's my ...

Regarding no contact or lack of relationship with the N's, I've heard a number of comments coming from well-meaning people. Even those who know about what they are like. "I hope that changes when grandbabies come" "of COURSE they'll be there as soon as the baby is born, you can't keep them away" "Just let them visit, DH can talk to them and you'll be involved with the baby and won't have to say much" "You won't be able to keep them away from your baby" Um HELL NO. Before I found out I was pregnant I felt having a child would be the last 'first' step away from the N's permanently. The thought of it hung over my head like a cloud, threatening to rain on any joy DH and I could possibly have thinking about bringing a baby to our family. I wrote previously about going through an early miscarriage before this current pregnancy, the thought of having children was a burden on my mind and weighed me down wit...

Honestly, I should have sold tickets. It hasn't been easy for me, this no contact journey with the N's. I lived with a guy who wouldn't believe me for months and felt it may encourage someone if I wrote about it. I know many women live with their husbands who are in denial for years on end. I lived the majority of a year in that hell. From the 2 week long visit to the N's in which I felt trapped to the entire drama which ensued and led up to our no contact with them. The months between both events were probably the worst in my entire relationship with DH. I'm surprised we made it through together. We're not a fighting couple. We both dislike having bad feelings between us and (probably due to both of us being the middle kid) aren't selfish and would rather give in than upset the other person. We rarely fight. The N's changed that. Through this year and also our first bit of marriage they were the crux of many arguments and yelling matches. When I...

Daily, I hear stories of those trying to live with N's- or others who obviously have clear psychological problems that are not being dealt with. Boundary issues, inappropriate near reverse-Oedipal complex issues arising from NMILs and the like. I feel many, many women just 'deal with it' and are told to do so. I am not sure if there are a greater number of women than men living with these toxic in-laws, maybe more women than men seek help and understanding. (?) It's something I've been very interested in for over a year now. I am recently, er... less than five years married not to give away my actual wedding date or disclose any personal information that could be tracked to me. I don't pretend to have all the answers, I'm just a young wife and soon-to-be-mother living with the pain of abuse and trying to find my way out of the mess of being legally related to people whom (I believe) have serious psychological issues. I'm a newbie to this. It blows my m...

I saw this today posted on a blog by Elisse Stuart (http://elissestuart.wordpress.com/) Utterly hilarious and too good not to share! 1. Gaslighting Narcissist:  I Don’t You Hear What You Hear, what voices? Voices? Maybe  You’re  crazy! 2. Lying Narcissist:  I’ll tell you I’ll be Home for Christmas and then I won’t show up. 3. Basic Narcissist (Garden Variety):  Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me 4. Narcissist in the Manic mode:   Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And…. 5. Narcissist AKA Multiple Personality Disorder:  We Three Queens/Kings Disoriented Are 6. Paranoid Narcissist:  Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me 7. Narcissistic & BPD: You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I’m Gonna Cry & I won’t tell you why 8. Psychopath Narcissist:  Thoughts of roasting you on an open fire… 9. The N in OCD mode:  Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, ...