Confessions from the Fog

This post is more of a PSA to help out anyone new to the world of being an ACoN- maybe your eyes were just opened or maybe something really traumatic has just happened to you to cause you to question your life up to this point. We've all been there. The pain can be staggering. In our hurt we find ourselves opening up to people, people we think we can trust- only to find out we cannot trust them and to be screwed over doubly when this person is a. uncaring or b. disloyal, sharing our pain and suffering as a way of getting attention for themselves or worse- tooting out the tune of your awful event to willing ears and wider mouths in the guise of a prayer chain, probably a prayer chain for you to forgive the person. Hah. Ok- I'm gonna go there just briefly. I really, honestly believe some things are too great for mere mortals to forgive. Period. What the N's did to me is unforgivable. I don't plan on opening my heart to them enough to do the f-word. And yes, I am at pe...

In arguing with my husband, I've noticed a pattern. If he feels he is right, he can't let it go- he HAS to explain why and 'get me to see' why, which in turn- infuriates me because he can't just admit his logic was faulty. Over the littlest things. Not that our fights always get out of hand- but this is the mentality that usually escalates it. We both hate being wrong, but he cannot be wrong because then he feels threatened. (from my perspective anyway) Then I get upset because I shouldn't have to prove I have a right to my own opinion that happens to be different from his. Blah-de-blah and on we go until someone ends up crying- usually me. That's what you get when you get two ACoN's living together under one roof- fear of being wrong, of being hurt because they're seen as 'wrong'. Two people afraid to have differing opinions because they might hurt the other, ugh. You see what I'm getting at? DH and I had a ridiculous argument about go...

This topic is something I need to be better about in my own life, so I'm posting it here for others who may need to hear this as well. It really doesn't matter where you are in the ACoN journey, the facts remain the same. You have most likely been to hell and back again and might have multiple PTSD triggers from growing up in a home less-than ideal. Most days I don't want to converse with society in any way, shape or form. Thankfully (or maybe it's a bad thing) I really don't have to so much anymore staying home with my LO. I've always been an introvert, but something about going through immense emotional trauma of an abusive relationship really takes people-fear to a whole new level. I find myself getting panicked when I feel slighted or attacked because being taken advantage of is all I've known. It's hard to react in a way normal people with non-abusive lives would react. The phrase 'be gentle with yourself' I have heard directed towards t...

When you truly move on from a situation- it doesn't mean that situation is no longer hurtful to you- it means you need to get on with your life, so you do just that. It irks me to no end the fantasy so many people (ok, more often than not- religious people) make seem like reality for 'moving on' whatever that entails. You got burned by a forest fire? Let's sing a song around a campfire and have that as part of your 'healing' process. It hurt but can you touch the fire to tell it you forgive it for all the pain it caused? Seriously?! Imagine how ridiculous that would be. PTSD and other issues are very REAL, just like getting burned. And yet you don't see therapeutic fire in an intensive burn victim unit, do you??? (Seriously- post a link to any therapy that includes this lol ) It's unsound logic and, in layman's terms, crazy talk. And then- to heap insult to injury- there is something wrong with YOU if you don't want to embrace the thing that ...