Confessions from the Fog

It's hard separating them, isn't it? After it's all said and done most everything an N will tell you is a lie- if not an exaggerated truth to make themselves look better- so in fact- a lie. Yup- everything is a lie. One of the biggest lies my N's have told me in the past "Oh, we just want to celebrate with you!" Riiight. In reality, this means: "We want to feel honored and special on an occasion where YOU should feel honored and special." It's all about them, anyway. Birthdays, weddings and the like- that's all they think about. They are predators. They wake up and think, what can I get for ME today? What's going on that I can make about ME? How can I feel better about myself today? In the most base way imaginable they are emotional and physical vampires, stealing any joy out of a situation by bringing in the monkeys and ruining any chance of happiness for anyone else. I really think they do this because narcs are stupid. Sure...

Why are we (collectively, I'm including myself in this as well!)- so afraid to let people go???  Really go. Like, "You know what? I'm sick of your crap. You're gone from my life. Buh-bye!" Looking after yourself in today's harsh, unkind society is difficult. Sometimes it's downright horrible. I really believe you have to be a bitch sometimes and just say enough is enough. If you don't- who else will do that for you?  Once you find out you have a narcissist in your life, others seem to pop out of the woodwork along the way. You find yourself seeing the same traits and patterns over again and feel sick to your stomach as you realize this person is a narc. A sick narc. A narc that wants to drain you of life and happiness so they can feel happy.  I recently met another narc. I'm part of a mom group on facebook since I found out I was pregnant. We all have the same birth month and our babies are all born within a few days or weeks of each...

Up til now I've said a lot about living with an ACoN- living with narcissists in my family myself- and everything in between. But I've never really confessed what it's really like to be a spouse to a person wrestling with a past completely controlled by their family. It's not always pretty- but it's true and needs to be mentioned. We were warned. Chances are, if you attended premarital counseling of any kind you were told stories of how you'd likely argue about the major things most couples struggle with: sex, money and bad habits. Um- as someone marrying an ACoN- not so much. Honestly- no one prepares you for THAT. If I were to sit down with a prospective bride or groom and let them know what they're in for with this marriage- here's what I would tell them. - Be sure you're not in the marriage for the WIN factor. Realistically, I've been there. The feeling that if you mess up the marriage and end up as an ex, that you're letting the N-in...

You know what friggen sucks? Learning to trust again. It's a process- that's what I keep telling myself anyway. Once your life has been touched by someone with narcissistic personality disorder- well.... the good times keep on comin'. :/ Somewhere along the way you realize you are entirely spent and have little faith in humanity on the whole. The thought that other people might actually be GOOD people is hard to believe. I haven't posted in a while but I'm doing well. :) My baby boy is taking up the majority of my time and any time I'm not with him I'm probably working. A day doesn't pass when I don't think about what was said to me or done to me by people who betrayed my trust. Still. Two years later and over a year and a half since I said 'enough' and went MIA. That's one thing parenthood has taught me. Your thoughts are valuable- they have the power to empower you through another rough, monotonous day OR- you can let them tear you ...