Still healing ...

You know what friggen sucks? Learning to trust again. It's a process- that's what I keep telling myself anyway. Once your life has been touched by someone with narcissistic personality disorder- well.... the good times keep on comin'. :/ Somewhere along the way you realize you are entirely spent and have little faith in humanity on the whole. The thought that other people might actually be GOOD people is hard to believe.

I haven't posted in a while but I'm doing well. :) My baby boy is taking up the majority of my time and any time I'm not with him I'm probably working.

A day doesn't pass when I don't think about what was said to me or done to me by people who betrayed my trust. Still. Two years later and over a year and a half since I said 'enough' and went MIA. That's one thing parenthood has taught me. Your thoughts are valuable- they have the power to empower you through another rough, monotonous day OR- you can let them tear you apart and dwell on them.

Time doesn't heal all wounds but it sure helps. I guess someday I'll be able to take more risks again, invite people over and befriend strangers. But right now? I can't. I need to focus on myself and my little family and protecting what peace I have found over the past year.

I'm still here and I'm still very humbled my blog has reached so many of you! You're not alone. There IS another side to come out on after you've been through hell and back. This too will pass and when it does- you will be stronger, braver and more amazing than ever before. Fire has a way of purifying the best in us and burning up the worst. Every moment spent in pain, in wondering, in self-doubt- is important. Each moment spent that way is a new beginning- a process that must take time to complete. Hang in there!

-Gracie

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