Counting Losses

I'm four years out now, from all the chaos and hurt that never was resolved or healed.

It's crazy, huh?

Also four years since I first started blogging about this whole mess.

I haven't been writing much about this but that's really the natural course of these blogs. There comes a time when you simply have said it all and once you are removed from your surroundings, there just isn't fodder for emotional garbage anymore.

Or so they say.

Lately, the NMIL has been trying to write me. I've yet to respond to anything and honestly, there is nothing for me to respond to. They will always have our address for tax purposes, thanks to the setup of the trust DH is involved with.

There never was an apology to me specifically and they know this. No amount of grasping for straws of common ground from them will ever 'get me back' they never really got to know me.

I just feel like it's the end. Of feelings from me, of an era of pain and sadness.

Nice try, guys- but I'm emotionally unreachable anymore.

I guess some N's feel they are beyond the rules of space and time, that they can just crash in whenever and be welcomed because they are just that awesome of people to be around.

That surely, no mere collateral damaged person will forget about them.

But I really have.

They can keep sending things to me, but I won't ever respond. There is nothing left to say. If they want to pretend there's a relationship they can talk to a closed door because I've already left that house.

In the end, you have to do what you have to do to protect your own heart. I'm counting my losses. I will never have a second family in my husband's family of origin. Never have I ever and never will I ever feel like I do.

It's a loss. It's unfortunate, but ultimately- it's their loss because they never got to know me and will never get to know my son.


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