The Brick Wall Exercise
I was thinking of this late the other night as I was up for no good reason. Not sure if I ever shared this tip, but it's a simple exercise that really has done wonders for self-healing.
With narcs, it's hard to heal! You never get an apology, never get an acknowledgement that they have hurt you or that they are even sorry, what normal people don't quite 'get' is that people like us have to find some way to continue on with our lives haunted by what was and what never will be resolved this side of heaven.
Narcs go on living their own hurtful, self-centered lives and you have to somehow pick up the pieces they left of your heart and put it back together again. Moving on while broken is the hardest thing many of us have had to do! I admire that so much.
Not having closure- it's no wonder so many ACoN's struggle with PTSD thoughts, triggers and nightmares. The 'Brick Wall' technique is one I made up and taught myself and it might not work for everyone, but for me it's been very helpful.
You know when you can feel the history with the narcs seeping into your subconscious? Whether barely asleep or wide awake, something in your mind isn't quite at peace because you're experiencing a trigger or feeling a memory coming on but don't want to give it full control to make you a crying mess all day. I still get these feelings, even years out from the abuse!
In this mental exercise, whenever I feel the memories of the narcs start to break loose from the awful corner of my mind I try to keep them locked away in- it helps me to picture my memory and my mind as having sturdy, new brick walls I can control just by thinking about them. If I start to feel bad emotions or get upset, I can push them back into their place and mentally imagine myself fixing the 'wall' stone by stone- brick by brick- until it's safe and secure and I can separate myself from the trauma of those feelings.
Just imagining those thoughts and fears are walled-up, unable to hurt you or bring you down.
I always try to take deep breaths, focusing on the happy thoughts after I'm done with this exercise. The things I'm looking forward to the most, it's important to stay in the NOW. Only then can you move onto greater things.
Do you have 'walls' you need to fix? Does staying in the NOW/today, this very instant help you? I'm no therapist and don't claim to be, but I hope this helps someone the way it has helped me.
With narcs, it's hard to heal! You never get an apology, never get an acknowledgement that they have hurt you or that they are even sorry, what normal people don't quite 'get' is that people like us have to find some way to continue on with our lives haunted by what was and what never will be resolved this side of heaven.
Narcs go on living their own hurtful, self-centered lives and you have to somehow pick up the pieces they left of your heart and put it back together again. Moving on while broken is the hardest thing many of us have had to do! I admire that so much.
Not having closure- it's no wonder so many ACoN's struggle with PTSD thoughts, triggers and nightmares. The 'Brick Wall' technique is one I made up and taught myself and it might not work for everyone, but for me it's been very helpful.
You know when you can feel the history with the narcs seeping into your subconscious? Whether barely asleep or wide awake, something in your mind isn't quite at peace because you're experiencing a trigger or feeling a memory coming on but don't want to give it full control to make you a crying mess all day. I still get these feelings, even years out from the abuse!
In this mental exercise, whenever I feel the memories of the narcs start to break loose from the awful corner of my mind I try to keep them locked away in- it helps me to picture my memory and my mind as having sturdy, new brick walls I can control just by thinking about them. If I start to feel bad emotions or get upset, I can push them back into their place and mentally imagine myself fixing the 'wall' stone by stone- brick by brick- until it's safe and secure and I can separate myself from the trauma of those feelings.
Just imagining those thoughts and fears are walled-up, unable to hurt you or bring you down.
I always try to take deep breaths, focusing on the happy thoughts after I'm done with this exercise. The things I'm looking forward to the most, it's important to stay in the NOW. Only then can you move onto greater things.
Do you have 'walls' you need to fix? Does staying in the NOW/today, this very instant help you? I'm no therapist and don't claim to be, but I hope this helps someone the way it has helped me.
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