To the brink

I would usually write about something like this on my other blog (link to the right of my main one here)

Almost one full year since I had my son. Almost 3 since it all went down (history with the N's)

Oh my goodness. All the shit. haha. It's an understatement. But you guys get me. Shit on the fan, shit on the floor, all over everybody. (French! sorry/notsorry)

I can say without a doubt I've been pushed to the brink. Of insanity (hell- I'm crazy) of my physical bounds, of my emotional and general well being. I've been suicidal. Depressed. Anxious. Panic-attacks every day there for a while.

It's gotten so that I'm not even sure where the crap is coming from anymore. Post partum depression? (11 months and counting, yippee) Drama? Maybe just emotional crap overload in general.

When your whole world comes crashing in and someone hands you a pill to see reality a different way, your life is changed forever. It's a crazy ride.

But you're not alone. It WILL make sense someday, there WILL be peace. I know, I've seen glimmers of it since going totally no-contact. You're not going crazy. But even if you are you can always sit with the cool kids ;) *cough*me*cough*

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