What is and what can never be
I've been watching, listening to a lot of children's programming lately and one theme that keeps coming up is family. Even though it's fantastic to promote good family relationships I can't help but feel a little sick to my stomach as 'but we're family' turns into 'but they're familyyyyyy' in my mind. I know you can empathize with this. Watching a show or listening to a story where it was all just a huge misunderstanding and family members always work it through. I'm sorry, but real life just isn't the Waltons.
Maybe this is one of the reasons I love the Harry Potter series. A supporting character, Sirius Black is shown to be excommunicated from his family of origin because they really were that wicked. He finds comfort and 'family' in his godson as well as close friends who take the place of his abusive family life. It's really quite remarkable. A children's story that doesn't emphasize the importance of indoctrinating young minds to believe even wicked people can be good parents because they're familyyyy.
Fact is, there is a lot of badness in the world. Also a lot of good. Unfortunately bad people can have children and can have children for no other reason than selfish desires. Someone to serve them, someone to pass down the family bitterness to- you get the picture. Yes. It is entirely possible that a mother or father can feel no love in their heart for their child. They may say they love them, but you know- actions speak louder and all that.....
There is also a great deal of ignorance out there, the ideas that many people promote as solid truths- families must love each other deep down because that's what families do. Well, maybe THEIR family does that. the more I live the more I see that the ultimate sign of privilege is when people say something is not a problem because it doesn't affect them. Not only do they negate the very REAL problem that someone else is facing as imaginary- but they fool themselves into a false sense of self-worth. Well THEY don't have that problem, so THEY must be doing it right and you are doing it wrong.
(I'll give you a hint here- if ever someone badmouths you but doesn't name you and then goes on to tell another person why THEY do it better- obviously- they're probably a narcissist)
If you meet someone like that, run. Run like the chubby bubbles girl:
Maybe this is one of the reasons I love the Harry Potter series. A supporting character, Sirius Black is shown to be excommunicated from his family of origin because they really were that wicked. He finds comfort and 'family' in his godson as well as close friends who take the place of his abusive family life. It's really quite remarkable. A children's story that doesn't emphasize the importance of indoctrinating young minds to believe even wicked people can be good parents because they're familyyyy.
Fact is, there is a lot of badness in the world. Also a lot of good. Unfortunately bad people can have children and can have children for no other reason than selfish desires. Someone to serve them, someone to pass down the family bitterness to- you get the picture. Yes. It is entirely possible that a mother or father can feel no love in their heart for their child. They may say they love them, but you know- actions speak louder and all that.....
There is also a great deal of ignorance out there, the ideas that many people promote as solid truths- families must love each other deep down because that's what families do. Well, maybe THEIR family does that. the more I live the more I see that the ultimate sign of privilege is when people say something is not a problem because it doesn't affect them. Not only do they negate the very REAL problem that someone else is facing as imaginary- but they fool themselves into a false sense of self-worth. Well THEY don't have that problem, so THEY must be doing it right and you are doing it wrong.
(I'll give you a hint here- if ever someone badmouths you but doesn't name you and then goes on to tell another person why THEY do it better- obviously- they're probably a narcissist)
If you meet someone like that, run. Run like the chubby bubbles girl:
...not to mention a coward.
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