Apparently I am an extremist to some, well- quite a few in particular (the N's) but I found out today someone was talking crap about me and a few others from a group I started out in looking for support years ago (that I did not find there). They called me an extremist because I essentially cut my husband's man bits off if he didn't cut off contact all the way, this person is older and obviously bitter she lives as a martyr to her husband's will to see his viper family of origin. So yeah- for the first time in my life I spouted off a concise well-pointed message to all and especially this lovely little hag, calling her out on acting JUST LIKE the in laws so many of us in the group (355 members to be exact) ran away from. I guess the N apple doesn't fall far from the N tree. Instead of being supportive of anyone's choice to live in whatever way is peaceful for their family, this person would rather hold onto the bitter resentment that others may just have caught onto something to live wonderful lives while she wastes her golden years singing 'woe is me'.

It's clear I have an opinion of people who are in full capacity to change their life- and don't. But I will honestly respect someone else's decision to keep contact with toxic people- simply because, it is not my decision to make.

What I do not stand for is anyone badmouthing me or my friends behind my back. I used to stand for it and let it happen but now I respond. I do not and will not respond to my family N's though, I don't much fancy the idea of my little boy only knowing his mother to wear an orange jumpsuit. ;)

So call me an extremist if you will. I highly doubt that's what I am- in fact you could call me a pacifist of sorts. My no contact (of my own free will or my husbands- take your pick on the family sides) is put in place simply to keep my son safe and erase the drama and tension in our lives. I don't do it to hurt my husband, I don't do it to hurt them. I do it to live a life as happy as possible, creating a home that is loving and friendly for my son and my family. I guess if that's extremism, I'll take it! I'd much rather have the peaceful and happy home life of someone who has cut out the toxic people- than to live a life dictated by the whims and desires of a tyrant and ultimately- end up just like the N themselves. Lonely, bitter and utterly spent.


  1. In the end it is the courageous and loving thing to do, no one should live chained to toxic people and let them dictate your life, then you're life is being wasted, however there will always be righteous people doing the wrong thing and wanting to convince you to do that too, that's how they defend their cowardness ;-) Anyways, I think you should live a joyous life :-)!

  2. Sounds like you and DH threatened someone. Too bad: They're not living your life-you are. They don't get a vote. Their "opinion" is likely predicated by some degree of jealousy.
    By this time in the complainer's life, she's not a "Victim:" She's a VOLUNTEER.

  3. Thanks for the comments :) I always enjoy reading them! Right? I really can't stand people who live their life on crutches when they can get up and walk away! I'm sure you both know the type, after getting out of multiple bad situations it's clear that some people just want to be miserable. <3


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