The Loneliest Time of the Year
It's the most loneliest time of the year.
With the kids jingle-belling and
everyone telling you
BE OF GOOD CHEER.
Pardon the terrible rendition. The holidays really are the worst time of the year for those with psychopaths in the family. On one hand you yourself are fighting past decisions to stay away from harmful people- while others may tell you to 'let bygones be bygones' - aka- essentially telling you to put injustices in the past so we can all get along and have a merry effing Christmas for God's sake.
I've seen some of the WORST advice this week to others in similar situations to where I've been in the past, although not direct family like my stories from the crypt. It simply is NOT the place of adults to mediate between feuding family members, or even non-family members. If you're in the middle- get out. Plain and simple. It's a lie that families HAVE to be together over the holidays. Not everyone has a Norman Rockwell family. Besides, it's the 21st century. People don't live in the same, one-horse town anymore. It's simply unrealistic to expect everyone to be together if family conditions were the best.
But to my main point:
N's are the proverbial zombies- you bury them but they keep coming back.
I'll share a bit of what helps me. 'Nailing' those zombies back with nails of truth. What ACTUALLY happened and probably what no one believes because 'they're so nice- how could they?'.
In my case, I keep those creepies in their no contact coffins by putting up wooden stakes of reality.
-They could help it- they chose to treat me like that anyway.
-They lie about everything.
-They see nothing wrong with what they've done and are still doing.
-They don't care. About their kid(s) or grandkids. Whoever is on hand with a butt wipe takes the crap and gets the honor of doing so to clean up after them. (pardon the mental image)
Feel any better? You should! Even if you don't have that much bio family- or any bio family for that matter because they have died and been buried, either literally or in your mind as the people you thought they were..... it's ok. It's ok to be lonely. It's ok to have 'family' that isn't biological.
Be sure to remind yourself of the TRUTH this holiday season. Don't let those old lies keep the joy away! You're worth SO much more than that. You deserve a very merry Christmas. After all, nothing hurts the N's more than you living your life to the absolute fullest and enjoying what peace and comfort you have now, in spite of them not in your life.
Merry Christmas and happy whatever-doesn't-offend-you ;)
I love you all!
-Gracie
With the kids jingle-belling and
everyone telling you
BE OF GOOD CHEER.
Pardon the terrible rendition. The holidays really are the worst time of the year for those with psychopaths in the family. On one hand you yourself are fighting past decisions to stay away from harmful people- while others may tell you to 'let bygones be bygones' - aka- essentially telling you to put injustices in the past so we can all get along and have a merry effing Christmas for God's sake.
I've seen some of the WORST advice this week to others in similar situations to where I've been in the past, although not direct family like my stories from the crypt. It simply is NOT the place of adults to mediate between feuding family members, or even non-family members. If you're in the middle- get out. Plain and simple. It's a lie that families HAVE to be together over the holidays. Not everyone has a Norman Rockwell family. Besides, it's the 21st century. People don't live in the same, one-horse town anymore. It's simply unrealistic to expect everyone to be together if family conditions were the best.
But to my main point:
N's are the proverbial zombies- you bury them but they keep coming back.
I'll share a bit of what helps me. 'Nailing' those zombies back with nails of truth. What ACTUALLY happened and probably what no one believes because 'they're so nice- how could they?'.
In my case, I keep those creepies in their no contact coffins by putting up wooden stakes of reality.
-They could help it- they chose to treat me like that anyway.
-They lie about everything.
-They see nothing wrong with what they've done and are still doing.
-They don't care. About their kid(s) or grandkids. Whoever is on hand with a butt wipe takes the crap and gets the honor of doing so to clean up after them. (pardon the mental image)
Feel any better? You should! Even if you don't have that much bio family- or any bio family for that matter because they have died and been buried, either literally or in your mind as the people you thought they were..... it's ok. It's ok to be lonely. It's ok to have 'family' that isn't biological.
Be sure to remind yourself of the TRUTH this holiday season. Don't let those old lies keep the joy away! You're worth SO much more than that. You deserve a very merry Christmas. After all, nothing hurts the N's more than you living your life to the absolute fullest and enjoying what peace and comfort you have now, in spite of them not in your life.
Merry Christmas and happy whatever-doesn't-offend-you ;)
I love you all!
-Gracie
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