Why flying monkeys have to be out
When you go no contact- I say when, not IF- if you want a decent life after living with narcs you will have to at some point go no contact. When you go no contact- there is an incredible urge to keep in the flying monkeys. After all- what can be so bad about them? After all- they aren't the ones that hurt you, right?
Out of self-respect- you HAVE to let the flying monkeys go as well. The main reason for this is that they are SELFISH.
Think about it.
They stay in contact with the narc, oftentimes AFTER they know what the narc does and is capable of.
Think of it this way, you know those little birds that hang out around hippos in Africa when you watch nature shows? The narc is the hippo- a hippo with a history of crushing the birds underfoot and not caring. Of doing that on purpose. The flying monkeys are the little birds that stick around. They can be crushed at any moment but they refuse to get to safety- because they saw the narc hippo crush you and they didn't CARE. They're selfish. The relationship they have with the narc is working for them. So they stay. They don't care if you got hurt or what the narc did to you!
They're evil by proximity.
That's why I have maintained no contact with the monkeys. That's what comes to mind every time I even think about resuming contact with these people. If you think a flying monkey can be your friend you have seriously underestimated the attraction of the narc. To the monkey, the narc is the wonderful provider of whatever they want in life- power, attention, money, gifts- anything. These are spineless creatures and should be handled with care as the time bombs they are.
If they break free from being monkeys- great. Good for them. But until they do- you owe them absolutely nothing- no contact- nada. They might not have hurt you in your mind, but they have hurt you by betraying you to the N. And that's just nasty. ;) Flying monkeys have the degenerative disease of narcissism. They should come with signs- contagious- disinfect after handling.
For a healthy life after narcs- you have to let go of the monkeys as well.
Out of self-respect- you HAVE to let the flying monkeys go as well. The main reason for this is that they are SELFISH.
Think about it.
They stay in contact with the narc, oftentimes AFTER they know what the narc does and is capable of.
Think of it this way, you know those little birds that hang out around hippos in Africa when you watch nature shows? The narc is the hippo- a hippo with a history of crushing the birds underfoot and not caring. Of doing that on purpose. The flying monkeys are the little birds that stick around. They can be crushed at any moment but they refuse to get to safety- because they saw the narc hippo crush you and they didn't CARE. They're selfish. The relationship they have with the narc is working for them. So they stay. They don't care if you got hurt or what the narc did to you!
They're evil by proximity.
That's why I have maintained no contact with the monkeys. That's what comes to mind every time I even think about resuming contact with these people. If you think a flying monkey can be your friend you have seriously underestimated the attraction of the narc. To the monkey, the narc is the wonderful provider of whatever they want in life- power, attention, money, gifts- anything. These are spineless creatures and should be handled with care as the time bombs they are.
If they break free from being monkeys- great. Good for them. But until they do- you owe them absolutely nothing- no contact- nada. They might not have hurt you in your mind, but they have hurt you by betraying you to the N. And that's just nasty. ;) Flying monkeys have the degenerative disease of narcissism. They should come with signs- contagious- disinfect after handling.
For a healthy life after narcs- you have to let go of the monkeys as well.
I agree!!
ReplyDeleteFlying monkeys, when properly motivated and sufficiently malicious, can do more harm than the narc you have extricated yourself from.
ReplyDeleteI would argue that you haven't fully extricated yourself from the narcs until you've shaken the monkeys too.
DeleteI completely agree!
DeleteSo true! Awesome!
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely right. I am struggling so badly right now. My father is the ultimate flying monkey, and my sister and mother are the narcs. My parents are divorced and my father has been warned several times by his friends, family, and especially his lawyer to stay away from my mother because she will destroy him. Not only has he been ignoring them all, but he led me to slaughter last week. He told me my sister was sorry for the rumors she had been spreading about me, and over the last six months has been literally pestering me to meet with her and my mom (I went no contact with my sister and mom over a year ago). I kept saying no, but stupid me, decided to finally meet them. Why? I wanted to know exactly where I stood with all of them. I got ambushed. My sister was not sorry and my father, the traitor, supported her. My sister uses him and treats him like shit. I have been kind to him and have always been there for him. I felt so sick that I could not even defend myself especially when my sister threw my dad under the bus and ratted him out for knowing about some of the stuff she'd been doing behind my back and he never told me...even when I asked him if he knew. He had been lying to me. I feel sick, angry, and lost. How do i cut them out? I feel like I want to tell them off but I know that will only make them rage out and more. I do want to say good-bye though. Any thoughts? Sorry, but I still can't get over the abuse my father has taken from my mom and sister and still not only wants to be around them, but thinks I should subject myself to their abuse too. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
ReplyDelete