Good girls don't do that...

I'm finally taking action- two years later- regarding my in laws blatantly manipulating people at my university my senior year of school. I've known for a while any and all information they received from the head of my department was a direct violation of FERPA- breaking the law of privacy regarding student information both academic and personal held in the trust of the school they attend.

I hate going back over it all- in my mind- in my letter explaining everything. It's crazy. Who would believe it? And yet they have to because it happened. So I've shared my story and the concern is in the process of being addressed right now. Potentially I could sue over this. My in laws used the information they received to harass me and honestly, emotional trauma is enough excuse for me to WANT to sue them.

But I hate pointing fingers, I don't want anyone to get fired for this. Good girls don't DO this. Maybe that's why so many abuse instances go unreported. What victim wants to stand in court and testify- AGAIN- when no one believed them in the first place?

Maybe I'm crazy. But I want justice. Maybe knowing what happened to me will not happen to another will aid in the healing process. Maybe it would help to know a wrong was acknowledged and will not be repeated. Even if there's no peaceful ending for me- maybe that's enough.

I'm tired of being misused, mistreated and taken advantage of. If I have legal standing against anyone or anything that brought me so much pain- all from people failing at doing their job correctly- I need to stand up for that right and be strong.

Comments

  1. Tundra WomanOctober 3, 2013 at 5:19 PM

    Do it, Ms. Grace. If it saves others, just one other person from having their private info, their schedules etc. released, DO IT.
    A Way-Back Story: I was involved in a violent, abusive relationship when I was young and managed to flee for my life from the guy. I shamefully told Psychobitch who appeared to take some perverse pleasure and certainly was not upset her "DD" was being beat right into admission to to major medical center just a few short years after the assault/abduction of my just turned 20 yr. old self.
    Fast forward: Five YEARS later, the guy calls my "mother" -who knows ALL the shameful, frightening FACTS-AND gave him all the info regarding where I was attending college, once again FULL TIME. Guess who showed up waiting outside my Calc class two weeks after the beginning of the semester?? And Psychob never mentioned a WORD TO ME about him contacting her.
    So, how did he find me exactly on campus? He went to the REGISTRAR'S OFFICE and CONFIRMED MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER! AFTER they gave it to him and asked, "IS that CORRECT?"
    I still can not believe I'm alive some days. I'm not being dramatic or overstating this.
    Please do it, Ms. Grace.
    Thank you very, very much.
    TW

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownOctober 4, 2013 at 8:26 AM

    Oh my gosh- that's horrible! D: Privacy isn't respected at all and as much as I don't want to get anyone 'in trouble' they certainly should be in trouble! I agree!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I smell BS

Don't ya just love how N's phrase things? It's amazing how sweet and nice and considerate they sound. Even to themselves I suppose. Candy-coated poison. I was reminiscing about all the ways they tried to lure me in or lure me back or lure hubby back even when we had contact, albeit limited contact. NMIL told DH over the phone she wanted to make things better with me and apologize. Sounded sweet as can be. He agreed it'd be a good idea. Didn't tell me anything about this conversation. Lo and behold when WEEKS later I get an unexpected email in my inbox that must have taken less than a minute to type with her talons and send out officially. No apology whatsoever but 'I am sorry our relationship is not such that you would want us there to celebrate with you' on your bla-de-bla. Mind you, this wasn't even my birthday- they don't remember when THAT is- God forbid. I debated all of five minutes before deleting it and taking steps to delete HER account ...
Read more

The way things are

Lately I've been pulling at random thoughts and trails in my mind, hoping to get at something I have yet to cover on this blog. I want to keep writing but may be turning more internally in the future- how my husband and I have gotten through this- how it's affected us each in our own way- helpful tips on being married to an ACoN or for the person with the family of origin that has the problem- to better understand their spouse and how they fit into the mix. DH and I have some big questions still unanswered. I'm not sure they ever will be answered. I thought to write them out here just the same. If you have insight or wish to say something, please feel free to comment as usual. It may just help me process everything a little better. Lately I've been stuck in the land of WTF- I know why sociopaths do what they do- I know they mean to do it- and yet I cannot fathom in my inlaw's response to this whole thing or their blind stupidity to see the truth. After all- how ...
Read more

Just say 'no'

Really? Who knew standing up for myself would be so hard. After the last post I feel the need to write an update today. My older sister is out of surgery and all went well. After a guilt-ridden dream I had she passed away during the operation. I've been feeling hugely anxious/nervous and guilty all since I told my mom I wasn't sure I could watch my little sister overnight or have her as a house guest so both my parents could take off work to be there for my older sister this morning. I've been sleeping terribly with pregnancy-related issues and knew having my sister over would only add more stress to me, stress I couldn't handle due to the way I've been feeling lately. I knew I made the right choice in even bringing up this concern to my mom but can't help but feel extremely guilty this week as I went through with it. I feel they're mad at me. Maybe that's just me, maybe not. I haven't heard anything from my family except 'we'll manage'...
Read more