Hey Grace, I'm right there with you. When I first met my DH, I was looking forward to having not religious fanatic, not fucked up, good-hearted and positive influences in my life. I thought I'd get some normalcy too. It took me too long to figure it out I was standing on the tracks while the N freight train was barreling towards me.
Don't ya just love how N's phrase things? It's amazing how sweet and nice and considerate they sound. Even to themselves I suppose. Candy-coated poison. I was reminiscing about all the ways they tried to lure me in or lure me back or lure hubby back even when we had contact, albeit limited contact. NMIL told DH over the phone she wanted to make things better with me and apologize. Sounded sweet as can be. He agreed it'd be a good idea. Didn't tell me anything about this conversation. Lo and behold when WEEKS later I get an unexpected email in my inbox that must have taken less than a minute to type with her talons and send out officially. No apology whatsoever but 'I am sorry our relationship is not such that you would want us there to celebrate with you' on your bla-de-bla. Mind you, this wasn't even my birthday- they don't remember when THAT is- God forbid. I debated all of five minutes before deleting it and taking steps to delete HER account ...
Lately I've been pulling at random thoughts and trails in my mind, hoping to get at something I have yet to cover on this blog. I want to keep writing but may be turning more internally in the future- how my husband and I have gotten through this- how it's affected us each in our own way- helpful tips on being married to an ACoN or for the person with the family of origin that has the problem- to better understand their spouse and how they fit into the mix. DH and I have some big questions still unanswered. I'm not sure they ever will be answered. I thought to write them out here just the same. If you have insight or wish to say something, please feel free to comment as usual. It may just help me process everything a little better. Lately I've been stuck in the land of WTF- I know why sociopaths do what they do- I know they mean to do it- and yet I cannot fathom in my inlaw's response to this whole thing or their blind stupidity to see the truth. After all- how ...
Really? Who knew standing up for myself would be so hard. After the last post I feel the need to write an update today. My older sister is out of surgery and all went well. After a guilt-ridden dream I had she passed away during the operation. I've been feeling hugely anxious/nervous and guilty all since I told my mom I wasn't sure I could watch my little sister overnight or have her as a house guest so both my parents could take off work to be there for my older sister this morning. I've been sleeping terribly with pregnancy-related issues and knew having my sister over would only add more stress to me, stress I couldn't handle due to the way I've been feeling lately. I knew I made the right choice in even bringing up this concern to my mom but can't help but feel extremely guilty this week as I went through with it. I feel they're mad at me. Maybe that's just me, maybe not. I haven't heard anything from my family except 'we'll manage'...
Hey Grace, I'm right there with you. When I first met my DH, I was looking forward to having not religious fanatic, not fucked up, good-hearted and positive influences in my life. I thought I'd get some normalcy too. It took me too long to figure it out I was standing on the tracks while the N freight train was barreling towards me.
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