Confessions from the Fog

For a while I have been running a small (ok- very small) personal facebook page for others I have met, but I wanted to make an anonymous public page too. We'll see how it goes ;) No need to like or comment from your own personal account, anonymous ones are welcome! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Confessions-from-the-Fog-spouseofanaconanon/1463196650671143

Can you believe it? I know I can't. Living proof that time does go on after such horrible drama- that one day you WILL be able to look back on it all with the clarity that is hindsight. What I wish I could say to myself when I first started this crazy crap-ride with abusive narcissists.... Oh the tales I would tell! ;) I would tell myself: It gets better. It might not be at first or for a very long time, but the distance of time makes it hurt less. You will probably never 'get over' what happened. Don't be too hard on yourself. The things they did and said will always hurt to think about. Just because they hurt does not mean you are not in a better place! There was nothing you did or could do to have made it better. That's the nature of abuse. Just because they're in your past doesn't mean they have to be in your future. Because of this, you will be a better person. You will live more honestly and love more genuinely, you'll learn to weed...

My husband and I had a conversation a while back on what we would change about our past, if anything. Hindsight is 20/20, looking back I would still be with him- BUT I would have noticed the warning signs and planned our lives accordingly to have as little stress as possible on our early marriage.  The scapegoat/black sheep of a narcissistic family can make a GREAT marriage partner, but it's not for the faint of heart. I wouldn't discourage anyone from marrying someone like this for that reason alone. Often ACoN's are the most kind, intelligent, thoughtful people. A life of abuse has made them that way and, if they can get out of their circumstances, they are often the best advocates for victims of abuse. So, here are some signs I wish I knew before I got caught up in the whirlwind of deceit and gaslighting: - How is your significant other's family in terms of distance- do they all live together? Close by? Is there that one lone wolf that is away from the pack for n...