Hermit Life
I really think part of being an ACoN is being afraid to let people in after you've had your whole ordeal with the N's in your life. And let me tell you- N's are everywhere!!! I was just talking to my DH about how we both preferred to be in our quiet-happy-bubble of a home instead of anywhere else with anyone else. Fact is, it's hard to let go of the monster of 'what-if' even if holding onto the little bit of sanity you have left means you have little left of a social life.
There is a huge apathy out in the world today, a hole that is endless and causes people to keep filling it with things and toys and other people who make them happy. When something doesn't suit them, they throw it away. Be it relationship, home, family or otherwise.
I believe you get what you deserve a lot of the time. Not being there for your kids means later in life they may not choose to be around you as much as YOU want, never mind how you weren't there for them in their childhood. Entering into a marriage thinking that divorce may be a good option may mean you're setting yourself up for failure. There is so much flippancy out there! I'm not saying we should all return to the 50's (heaven forbid!)- but in an attempt to be different, to do things differently than our parents did twenty something years ago- many are losing sight of the real meaning and value of a life well-lived.
I see and read so much from young people today that really surprises me. It shouldn't though. I mean- why wouldn't they be full of themselves and selfish now? They're simply claiming the attention they felt they never had. Hence a society full of narcissists.
Days like this, I'm thankful for the few and far between people who do matter, who do care about others more than just themselves. Random ramblings...
There is a huge apathy out in the world today, a hole that is endless and causes people to keep filling it with things and toys and other people who make them happy. When something doesn't suit them, they throw it away. Be it relationship, home, family or otherwise.
I believe you get what you deserve a lot of the time. Not being there for your kids means later in life they may not choose to be around you as much as YOU want, never mind how you weren't there for them in their childhood. Entering into a marriage thinking that divorce may be a good option may mean you're setting yourself up for failure. There is so much flippancy out there! I'm not saying we should all return to the 50's (heaven forbid!)- but in an attempt to be different, to do things differently than our parents did twenty something years ago- many are losing sight of the real meaning and value of a life well-lived.
I see and read so much from young people today that really surprises me. It shouldn't though. I mean- why wouldn't they be full of themselves and selfish now? They're simply claiming the attention they felt they never had. Hence a society full of narcissists.
Days like this, I'm thankful for the few and far between people who do matter, who do care about others more than just themselves. Random ramblings...
Interesting "Random ramblings!"
ReplyDeleteIt does seem we're living in a disposable world. When I was growing up Durable Goods really were: You purchased for example a washer/dryer, vacuum cleaner etc. and you had them for a few decades. Everything now is made of plastic, fiberglass and built-in obsolescence. An "Extended Warranty" was unheard of-you *expected* stuff to last! There were cobblers who fixed your shoes and handbags-you didn't buy new ones unless you wanted a different style but if you had favorites, you kept them and had them repaired. You absolutely could do minor repairs or maintenance on your vehicle yourself, etc. I can't say for certain at all Marriages were more stable-but yes, they did appear to be enduring and in many instances, Endurance Races. Neither party was happy but the social stigma around divorce was so intense, the laws making Separation/Divorce very difficult rendering many unhappily married people without recourse. Obviously, these "Marriages" were shams and yes, the kids as well as the adults did suffer as a result. No way were the '50's some sepia toned, Ozzie and Harriet period in American life! Not.at.all.
I also wonder about the proliferation of N's: Are there really more or do they simply have more platforms-courtesy of technology and "Reality" Programing, for example-on which to advertise themselves? It seems to me there's so much blatant self-promotion with everyone trying to be more outrageous and attention grabbing than the next.
I'm also very selective about who gets into my life-and how close they actually get. If someone demonstrates clear CB behavior, they're gone and I don't look back. Fortunately, that doesn't happen often at all but I refuse to allow people to use and abuse me, to turn on me with no opportunity for discussion of an alleged transgression or *ever* to scream at me-oh, NO you don't! We all have bad days and challenges but we're all adults as well: I will not tolerate CB Tantrums or Adult Hissy-Fits.
The "few and far between" people will still be a part of your life decades down the road. You'll be reflecting on all the adventures of a life filled with challenges and triumphs, sorrow and transformation. There really are people out there you come across throughout your life who demonstrate the greatness of everyday people. These are the people who we never hear about, who would never consider themselves "great" and who live their lives quietly, ethically and gracefully. They're gracious and often self-effacing.
People-like you-who give me so much hope in the present and for the future.
TW
Aw thanks :) I am glad I can be an encouraging look at the future to some people!
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