Mandatory Fun

<< That's always a phrase my best friend uses when she has to do something that she really doesn't want to do. Doctor's appointments, house cleaning, and other such items.

Not going to lie, really depressed today and this holiday in general. Post partum depression (7 months in!) is not helping in the least. Neither is having no family to speak of to celebrate with. I'm grateful it's just the three of us but I feel the need to make this Christmas extra special since it's my son's first- although he won't remember it.

Honestly, I would normally be happy to have a small Christmas. But this year is different. With depression looming over me it's hard to find joy in the things I usually love about Christmas. I don't want to watch my favorite seasonal movie or make the cookies I make every year. I don't want to listen to carols cut out paper snowflakes and decorate the house.

And so- mandatory fun, my friends, mandatory fun. Maybe forcing a little joy will help ease the emptiness.

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